i am scared.
i am driving to new jersey and i am scared. i have to find a place to live, because i have to go back to school and i can’t afford to live on campus. i can’t pay all of that money up front, and i think it will be cheaper if i find my own place. i am 20.
i’ve made three appointments for the day. the first, in the town very close to my school. there’s a room for rent, an elderly couple owns the home. it seems very nice, but they’re a bit strict, and they won’t allow guests. the second is an apartment share on a waterfront property, but seems more serious than i want it to be – signing a year lease and all. i can’t do that. i just have to get through the next five months of school. then i’ll figure out what happens.
i’m driving up to the third and i don’t know where i am. it’s january, the sun is getting low, and it’s bitter cold. i park on the street, and knock on the door of the big big house, and i am ushered in by a kind, down to earth, and friendly black woman. her name is dee. she tells me i should have parked in the back, and then she shows me two rooms. they are large and furnished and painted bright, cheery colors. bathrooms are shared, but there are plenty on each floor. ten people in total, probably, live in the house.
i signed a month to month agreement to rent the smaller of the rooms i was shown that day. i set a move in date for a few weeks later. and i procured myself a home.
i am driving back to new york and i am not scared. i am capable, and i am confident, and i can handle shit. i can take care of myself. i can do this.