there comes an age where you are responsible for yourself. where you really need to stop blaming your parents, your old friends, your exes for wherever you find yourself at a moment. where you need to stop acting like you have no control, and like the universe is conspiring to bring you down. spoiler: its not.

i say all of the time, and people think i am cold, and negative, that you are your only guarantee. and yes, i mean that you are the only person you can 100% rely on. i don’t think this means that there’s no one you can ever trust. i think it does mean that you need to take responsibility for yourself, your actions, and your joy, because you are the only one in the entire world whose job that is expressly.

if there’s a person in your life that’s continually hurting you, cut them off. if there’s an ex whose texts bother you, block their number. if there’s a situation you’re in where you’re not being treated right, extract yourself. if there’s something you want to change, sit down and make a plan to change it. if you think you’ll need help, ask for it. it really all is this simple – and simple doesn’t mean easy.

you are in charge. it is your right and responsibility to take advantage of that fact and fight for yourself. stop playing the victim, and start taking control. there comes a point where i lose respect for people who have no idea how to care for themselves, who are so wrapped up in self made tornados that all they can do is whine.

people tell me this is harsh, and i answer that i’ve seen humans do amazing things when they feel just a little empowered. i was a girl wrapped up in my own storms, convinced i needed to be tragic to be beautiful. Then, i decided t’d rather be happy than beautiful. the storms, they will wear you faster than you can realize what you’ve done.

it’s not a conspiracy. no one has it out for you. stand yourself up and fight. you’re the only one who really can.

(note: i wrote this months ago, and i haven’t been so great at living it lately. i am down and low and in the hole and all the other pretty synonyms we think up to say depressed without saying it. it’s as much a reminder for me as it is for the rest of the world)

7 thoughts on “simplicity.

  1. I’m sorry to hear you’re down and low. 🙁 *hug* I think you’re awesome, and living this is a lot harder than it is to say. I’ve struggled a lot with this myself; cutting toxic people out of your life is not easy, but it can be just oh so freeing when you realize you fully can, that you’re not bound by them.

    Hang in there. And if you need to talk, or vent, or anything, you know where to find me. 🙂

  2. I love this. And I love it all the more for the ways it is different from “choose happiness” although people may not see that at first. You’re advocating a choice of actions, not emotional states.

  3. I believe you had read my mind. I have been telling myself the same things recently. More so since the unpleasantness that I have dealt with this year. At this age we can no longer “efficiently” hide behind excuses as we once could. Presently, choosing happiness also reminds me that I cannot be lazy in taking responsibility for my life, the choices I make in it or the people I surround myself with.

  4. I’m sorry you’re down and low, but this is all pretty right on. I’ve thought about it a lot, how I’m the only person responsible for my happiness, more in terms of doing the shit I want to do to live the best life I can, and I try to remind myself of it often. I’m in charge here, goddamit.

  5. I do believe we are responsible for our happiness – my favorite quote is “Be responsible for the energy you bring into a room” Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor. I might not have the quote exactly – but it is pretty close. I try to live by that quote… Great post. Hugs and happiness to you.

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